Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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