I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
