i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
