I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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