he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
