Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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