I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just gift wrapped bread.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My vagina is officially offended.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
