I bet he comes in French.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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