He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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