I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i believe in u and ur pee
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
