Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
