she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
