Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
