Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
