I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
