i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
