so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
