D3 body, D1 cock
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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