That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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