How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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