it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize