I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
