He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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