So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
