He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
