apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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