Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
