Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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