He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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