the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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