Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
