i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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