Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
