Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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