She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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