I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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