I'm so fucking centered right now
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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