maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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