Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize