Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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