I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
