he thought i was a dude.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
