Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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