If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
