He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
