Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
