I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
40s are totally the cure
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
