well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
