Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
