You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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