Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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