nut hugger
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize