it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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