I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
