You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
worst night to have a conscience
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
