just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
