put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize