remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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