Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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